Blah Blah Blahbitty Blah!

Well I said I would'nt do it ever again and now through necessity I am forced to go back on my word. I'm working at Fatz Cafe! I did'nt swear off Fatz in particular I just swore off all restuarants like it. Ex:Outback, Ruby Tuesday, Applebees, etc. I hate working for these chains. I don't hate for no reason either. My hate is justified. These people don't hire, they fish. The dangle the bait of a good job with a caring company in front of you and against your better judgment you take the bait. That's when they pull you into the boat bang you against the floor and later rip out your guts. Below are some of the lies they tell to snare you.

1. What they say: Here at (insert any big corporation food chain) we believe in teamwork and act like a family. We care about your quality of life outside of the restaurant as well as inside.
What they mean: We don't care about you! We don't care one bit! Do not come to us with any schedule changes or ever complain about a schedule we make. You may request off some days for certain things, but that does'nt mean we'll give them to you. In fact just don't waste the ink in your pen!

2. What they say: We are all here to make money. We will give you the best oppurtunities to make as much money as you can.
What they mean: We control how much money you make! Piss me off and you'll get a two table section in the smoking area! I'll give you a good oppurtunity when you suck up to me, but other than that you're screwed pal!

3. What they say: We are an easy going company. We don't look for things to be wrong, as long as you are doing your job and making the customer happy we will let you do your thing.
What they mean: We will never leave you alone! We will nitpick every single detail we can think of until you go crazy! We will ask you to do something and then yell at you for doing it. We also promise to bring our personal lives to work and take it out on you! We hate you!

4. What they say: We try to think of new innovative ideas to make work more fun and inviting.
What the mean: We don't really try. In fact we do the opposite. We make things as uniform as we can. If you've done your job once then you can do it again a thousand times over the same way! We prove to you our lack of imagination by making you take 12'000 tests in order to work here. Each test will ask you the exact same information. Afterwards we will give you the same speech about our values and beliefs. Once again we hate you!

Well, I could keep going on and on about the dangers and subtle evil that lurks in these restuarant corporations, but I have to go to class. Remember if you can do anything else, then do it. These places are hell!