Attack of the yuck!

Shakespeare once said, "To have good breakfast or not to have good breakfast that is the line between passing college or not!" I think it was in his play Omlet! That's a good one, one of my favorites! Anyways, as you can probably tell breakfast was a bust this morning. In my last e-mail I talked about the horrible attrocities of the cafeteria here at G-dub. I might have been imbelishing just a little bit. In all truth the food here really isn't that bad it's just when you compare it to other schools food it's not up to par, an example would be the delicious food selection at UNCW's "Hawks Nest". Wanna hear something ironic? The reason I decided to go to a private university instead of a cheaper, bigger, state school was because I wanted to major in religous studies and state schools don't offer those courses as majors, some silly rule about church and state. Anyway it's ironic because since my school is private and not state funded my tuition is insanely high, somewhere in the ball park of 22,000 thousand a year! I pay more but my school has less benefits than a school where tution is about 8 or 9 thousand a year. I just thought that you lovers of the ironic verse would enjoy this fine example in my life.

On another note I just found out how close I am to Asheville, NC. (about an hour) I love Asheville, there's snow, sushi, and since there is snow there is snowboarding! I know that sounds like a weird combination, but you haven't lived until you pop a spicy tuna roll in your mouth while pulling a 360 tailgrab. Seriously though, another reason I'm excited about that is I have some friends that go to Appalachain State and I can see them with relative ease now. Ahhhhh, I can hear Asheville calling to me now, "Jacob....Jaaaacoooob, cooomme andd eeennjoyy my supple slooppes and raaaww fiiisshhhh" Apparently Asheville is a ghost.

Well I just recently recieved an e-mail from my good friend agent Sloan, challenging me to put together a paintball team up here at G-dub! (I know, I know it sounds like the 1st college of George Bush) He is putting a team together at UNCW. I am very proud of your love for the sport Agent Sloan, keep up the good work. I'll definetly be putting a team of my own together and someday we can meet on the field of honor and battle victoriously or something like that. Anyways it is time for my next class so until next time, think of ways to send me money, my address will be in my next post.

A Shining Ray of Hope

It's been awhile since I've posted anything on this blog and for those frustrated few who have actually been checking for new stuff, I'm sorry.

With all that "whoo ha" outta the way I can move on to more pressing matters like the horrible cafeteria food at Gardner-Webb University. Don't get me wrong I love my school but when I go to eat my meals I ussually like there to be something out of the limited choices I get that is actually edible. I know, I know I'm being completely unreasonable. I can just hear some of you now, "You mean you actually want to be able to identify the slop they feed you? Proposterous!" Sometimes if I squint my eyes real hard and swish an entire bottle of Listerine before eating I can pretend that the yellow, gloopy blob on the end of my fork is corn, but most of the time I'm just resigned to pretending I'm in a Jewish concentration camp and this is all there is in the world.

On another note, school is actually starting to creep up on me like a dang ninja. I got so much school work and assignments due in the next two weeks that I'm not sure what to do. A test on this day, a paper due here, an assignment due there. It's all very overwhelming! I'm sure I'll be fine though with my trusty friend, fear. You might be asking yourself, " Why would he be afraid?" I'll tell you man, this is college! I'm not is high school or a community college. There is no next step except for real life, and real life doesn't look at your mistakes and say, "Oh he was young and distracted, but we'll give him a chance anyway." No sir. Real life sounds more like this, "You weren't responsible enough in college well guess what you don't get the job", and then real life takes you out back and beats the living cheatos right out of you! Before you know it your living on the streets shining peoples boots for nikels and penny candy. It can all happen very fast so be careful.

I have to go now!

It's coming to an end.

What has become of my blog? It seems that I have lost all will to convey my feelings and thoughts on the internet. My eyes have been darkened and my mind dampened and I feel nothing. A robotic soul has taken my body and controls my mind. Creativity is useless and I posses none now! What will happen to me? Help.

Happy Anniversary Wilmingsloan!

Well readers you are certainly in for a treat today! It happens to be the anniversary of quite a good bit of writing. Some of you might be scratching your heads thinking it's the anniversary of Dickens or Tolstoy but you'd be wrong. It is the anniversary of www.wilmingsloan.blogspot.com This certainly calls for a celebration and at the least clicking on the link here in my post and visiting all the hilarity that is Wilmingsloan! This is the blog that empowered me to have one of my very own, so if you like my blog you have Wilmingsloan to thank for that! Well kiddies I don't want to write much more because this is the day of Sloan and let no man steal from the well deserved glory that is his! Here, here!
While this post is an article of shameless compliments in order to win the super nifty wilmingsloan sticker contest it doesn't mean that it isn't true! Good job Wilmingsloan!