I'm surprized they didn't want my dental records!

G'day mate. I'm officially an Outback Steakhouse server. The interview went well, mostly. I got there and had to go through another verbal test! Lets see that only makes.... three. I've taken three tests in the application process of working at Outback. That's not all though, I still have to go to an orientation, take a wine, liquor, and beer test, and take a menu test, then I get to go through three training days. I'm surprized they didn't want my dental records and eye scan. Nontheless I'm happy to have a job. Okay so back to the interview. The talking part went just fine and I must say that I looked pretty darn spiffy in my vintage aussie outfit. The kangaroo went over well too until I let him loose. The manager freaked out and in all the excitement I threw the boomerang too hard and instead of knocking the hoppable creature out I cut his head off! You can imagine the panic and talk about feeling awkward! To make a long story short, I cleaned up the blood, disposed of the body, and in the end my charms and dashing costume won me the job. Oi.

I just today experienced the most decieving professor ever. I'm sitting in Adolescent Psychology waiting for the Prof. to get there and finally after what must have been 3 seconds in he walks. He was a tall, skiny, older gentleman with white hair and neatly trimmed facial hair. The general feeling I got from this guy was a nice old man whose class was gonna be full of talk and not much assigned work. I couldn't be more wrong in my entire life even if I tried purposely every single day until I die. He handed out the sylabus and I thought maybe it was a joke. Now that I think about it I think he said something about his family coming from a long line of third world country dictators. I'm about 99.9% sure I'm gonna drop the class and pick up something a little easier like advanced calculous techniques.

I'm afraid the time has come for me to depart you today, I have some much needed studying to tackle. I won't leave you empty handed though, here is a romantic poem for all the guys to read to their lovely girlfriends.

Nappy head, nappy head,
eyes like a frog,
bend on over,
and I'll hump you like a dog!
Thingsareinteresting.blogspot.com does not take responsiblility of black eyes and ruined relationships of the select few that were actually dumb enough to recite such degrading dribble to a member of the opposite sex. Thank you.

So here I am.

Well I finally got here. After all the worry and stressing out about forms and fees, I'm finally living on the Gardner-Webb campus. I gotta tell ya, it feels good. The school is beautiful and everyone here is soooo nice. I'm still suspecting that soon everyone is going to take of their human masks and I'll be stuck in some kind of carnivorous lizard nightmare. I'll be running from these bloodthirsty lizard people and I'll trip and I'll be lizard food. Until then I'm really enjoying myself here. The town the college is in is really small. I thought that would bum me out but, instead I really like it. There is a main street like you see in movies and that's where everything is. Restaurants, coffee shops, everything is right there. It's great.

It looks like I might be getting a job at Outback Steakhouse which would be awesome. I have an interview today at 2:30. I'm a little nervous but I think I'll get the job. I have it all lined up. I have a traditional aussie outfit, a boomerang, and a kangaroo on a leash. How much more Australian can you get? For added affect I'm gonna let the kangaroo loose in the restaurant and knock him out with my boomerang. It'll be great. Meanwhile all the animal rights people are calling their lawyers. Good stuff, good stuff.

I miss my Caswell people more than I thought I would. Oh and Nathan if your reading which would be a miracle since no one is reading, it's not that I forgot you it's just that I thought Vickery was in Shallotte not Wilmington and I don't know anyone from Wilmington with that name. Anyways, sorry for the annoying personal message in my post it won't happen again and if it does may the beasts of the land eat me voraciously!

Well it's finally happened I've gotten on the health kick. I just spent an hour researching the best work out regiment for me and how to lose weight and tone up. I might be turning into a society zombie!(see earlier post) Anyway, I guess I should go and get ready for my big interview. Gotta prepare you know: eat lunch, get dressed in Aussie garb, brush the kangaroo, and practice boomerang throwing. The basics. Good day, mate.
Thingsareinteresting.blogspot.com would like to state to all the animal rights people out there that countless kangroos were slaughtered during the careless practice of boomerang throwing in order to prepare for this job interview and on one occasion a flame thrower and a wood chipper were also involved. Thank you.

How come being a christian makes you close minded?

I think that generalizing a certain thought or action to an entire faith and the people who follow that faith is just dang....stupid! Today I was told that I was closed minded for not wanting to go into a "pot head" shop. That didn't make any sense to me. If I wasn't a christian would I still have been called close minded for not wanting to go into that store? I don't think so. It just wouldn't have been my cup of tea. If your not interested in golf or paticipate in the sport do you find your self frequenting golf stores? No. Are the people who don't like to go into porno stores close minded? I don't think so. Why then when I don't want to go someplace because of the lack of interest I have in that place does it make me closeminded? Go ahead, someone answer.

Anyways today has been a pretty good day here in sunny Florida. My mom went to her first chemotherapy treatment today and it went pretty good. She didn't feel the least bit sick or anything afterwards. I was praying that she would be comfortable during her treatments and she was. I've been talking to God alot here these last couple of days, which isn't out of the norm just different kind of conversations. I've been praying for strength and for my moms healing. It's very comforting to know that God is watching out for me and hears me when I cry out.

I guess video games can be just as addictive as anything else. It's been about 4 days since I've killed any computer generated people and my killing finger is feeling pretty itchy. Trying to decide whether to buy the Xbox 360 or buy the PSP. I just don't know.

Still waiting for people to start e-mailing me questions about christianity and God. I think people come to this site and look through it randomly. My site meter at the bottom of the page says that at least 40 some people come through the site weekly yet I never get any comments or anything. Maybe all those page visits are just the government checking my page to make sure I don't have any suspicous content. I dont know bombs why they would president think that though saturday 4:00 this is just an innocent website al-queda.

I really am starting to miss all my friends at Caswell. If any of you are reading this and I hope you are I love you guys and thank you for all the prayers your offering to God. Our writer sits on a stool center stage, the lights are dim and you can hear a faint wind blowing. A single light is cast center stage on the writer and you can see tears glistnening down his face. Out of the dark hands lay on his shoulders and head offering him comfort and hope.

END

Hell just might be the inside of a station wagon!

Readers I come to you a very, very disoriented and sleepy writer. I am now reporting live to you from beautifully tourist clad Panama City Beach, Florida. I don't know where all the tourists went but they definitely left their tacky buildings and crappy beach shops so I know they were at least here at some point.

Have you ever been on a really long road trip? Fun right. Have you ever been on a really long road trip with absolutely no sleep prior to your departure? NOT so much fun. I think somewhere between South Carolina and Georgia is where I lost my sanity, it quite possibly could have been the mix of body odor and cheap beef jerky smell that sent me over the edge. I also found out (according to my dad) that 93% of truck drivers are serial killers and 73% of them are also transvestites. You know I'm not quite sure but I think canabalism was mentioned somewhere in there too. Apparantly then roaming the high ways of our fine country is a bunch of canabalistic, transvestite serial killers. Comforting huh? I guess the next time your driving by a trucker and you do the horn motion with your arm and they just stare at you with a glaze in their eyes, you'll probably seconde guess what exactly is going through their flesh crazed minds.

Anyhow I've been here in Florida visiting family and its actually been quite pleasant! Not that I expected anything other than perfect bliss!? I guess as my faithful readers you deserve to know why I had to make a sleep deprived haul to the sunny state of Florida. My mom has cancer! Yeah I guess I could have sugar coated that or maybe snuck around the issue until you realized I was about to drop the big "C Bomb", but oh well. I hope your not too crushed by the lack of tact I just demonstrated.

We came down here to visit her before she started the chemotherapy and before school started up again. Now would be a good time for me to ask all my readers who beleive in the power of prayer to please pray for this situation. I know that things will work out the way they're supposed to. Thanks if you decided to pray.

Our writers manservant Ramses enters in stage left and humbly informs the readers that his master has retired for the night on account of a long day. Curtain falls

END