Hell just might be the inside of a station wagon!

Readers I come to you a very, very disoriented and sleepy writer. I am now reporting live to you from beautifully tourist clad Panama City Beach, Florida. I don't know where all the tourists went but they definitely left their tacky buildings and crappy beach shops so I know they were at least here at some point.

Have you ever been on a really long road trip? Fun right. Have you ever been on a really long road trip with absolutely no sleep prior to your departure? NOT so much fun. I think somewhere between South Carolina and Georgia is where I lost my sanity, it quite possibly could have been the mix of body odor and cheap beef jerky smell that sent me over the edge. I also found out (according to my dad) that 93% of truck drivers are serial killers and 73% of them are also transvestites. You know I'm not quite sure but I think canabalism was mentioned somewhere in there too. Apparantly then roaming the high ways of our fine country is a bunch of canabalistic, transvestite serial killers. Comforting huh? I guess the next time your driving by a trucker and you do the horn motion with your arm and they just stare at you with a glaze in their eyes, you'll probably seconde guess what exactly is going through their flesh crazed minds.

Anyhow I've been here in Florida visiting family and its actually been quite pleasant! Not that I expected anything other than perfect bliss!? I guess as my faithful readers you deserve to know why I had to make a sleep deprived haul to the sunny state of Florida. My mom has cancer! Yeah I guess I could have sugar coated that or maybe snuck around the issue until you realized I was about to drop the big "C Bomb", but oh well. I hope your not too crushed by the lack of tact I just demonstrated.

We came down here to visit her before she started the chemotherapy and before school started up again. Now would be a good time for me to ask all my readers who beleive in the power of prayer to please pray for this situation. I know that things will work out the way they're supposed to. Thanks if you decided to pray.

Our writers manservant Ramses enters in stage left and humbly informs the readers that his master has retired for the night on account of a long day. Curtain falls

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