Why do I feel this way?

I have to admit that today has been a pretty bad day for me. Today all the confidence I usually have for myself is just gone. I have questioned my career goals and my abilities. I want to be an actor. I haven't really ever questioned my desire to be an actor. I want to be an actor more than anything. Not only do I want to be an actor I want to be a dang good one. I want the ability to create interesting characters and to be able to capture audiences with my imagination. I want to be able to do this soooo bad, but I feel like I just don't have the creativity in me to create such awesome things. It's very frustrating. I tried out for a play and got a very small part. It's about a page worth of dialogue and then my character is gone. I guess I just really want to act and be able to explore creating a character and don't seem to get the chance. I also feel like my professors don't like me. It kind of seems like I'm having a self-esteem problem. This is foreign to me and I don't like it.

Moving on, a good friend of mine is coming into town tommrow night and I'm looking forward to that. I'm looking forward to that like a pastrami on rye with a tinsy bit of hot sauce. Did I mention anything about my new apartment in my last post? I don't know, but I did get a new apartment. It's really cool. It was built in the 1800's and used to be the health club of Max O. Gardner. He was once the governer of North Carolina. I'm gonna enjoy it I think. I keep expecting ghosts though because the place is so old. I'll just keep some harispray and a lighter under my bed. You know that way if I see a ghost I can light the lighter and spray the hairspray into it and have a homemade flamethrower. I don't really know if ghosts are flammable, but at least it will look cool when I do it.

Well I guess that is all I have to say now so I'll see ya later.