Is stupidity a plague?

I guess I'm gonna take a writing class. I just tried a couple of times to write a narrative story instead of my usual post and it kept turning out terribly. I always seem to have a cool story in my head, but have trouble putting it on paper. I blame my hands.

I was driving home from work last night and on the side of the road there was a deer sitting in the biking lane. She was just sitting there, looking very peaceful, looking around with what seemed like curiousity. I thought it was beautiful and rare to see a wild creature just sitting so close to the road watching cars go by. It was great. Then my great moment was ruined by the flashing lights of a chevy blazer and several flashlights beaming all over the side of the road. The doe wasn't sitting by the side of the road on her own decision. She had been hit by the blazer and was forced to spend the last moments of her life watching cars speed by. I thought that I was seeing something rare and beautiful, but I was just seeing something that was common and ugly. It kind of ruined the moment for me. The story gets much worse.

I stopped so I could release the animal from its suffering. I thought that I had my pistol in the glove box, but when I looked all I found was an extra large maglite flashlight. I was frustrated, but there was no way that I was going to let this poor animal suffer on the side of the road. I went up to the doe, looked at her for a second and then I did it. I raised the maglite with mighty strength and beat the doe in the head. I thought this would surely kill her, but I think I just hurt her a lot. Istead of a couple quick blows I had to drop the flashlight and stomp on her neck until she stopped moving. Needless to say I went home last night feeling very horrible. There is one upside though. I now have quite a bit of venison in my freezer.

I guess that's it. Sorry for the dissapointment. Happy Halloween, now get outta my face!

Maxin out, realaxin, chillin, and definetly cool.

Hello faithful readers, hopefully everyone is enjoying their weekends. I myself am having a great time, hanging out with my brother Aaron. Were just rollin around town and decided to go into the local coffee shop and what do ya know they're giving away free deserts and coffee! Heck ya, how could this get any better. Oh wait.. did I mention that my Dad passed his real estate exam and things are looking up for his and the family's financial situation. This day has been absolutely great and I've been loving every moment of it. Anyways, I just wanted to give some quick advice and then I'll be on my merry way skipping down the road of everything is going great for Jacob road. Here's the advice, If you want to suceed in life don't give up because then you'll explode!

The gun smoke has cleared and it's a new day.

I was tough. I was strong. I gave it all I got and I think I did pretty good. I finally have all my papers done and ready to turn in on this the first day of fall break. That's right. Hop in the car, rev that enginge, crank up some tunes, and hit the road, but never hit women. Well you know I'm actually kind of divided about this subject of hitting women so let's talk about this for a second. Now ussually I would say never hit women unless of course you are a woman then go ahead and make a field day out of it. If your a man it's another story. If your a man I would normally say never hit women, but I gotta tell you I don't care if she is a woman or an endangered panda if your threatening me with a knife I'm knocking your teeth out. I wouldn't even be gentlemanly about knocking out the lady. I would knock her out with my fists and stand over her screaming and what the bullocks is a panda doing with a knife anyway. Who gave that panda a knife? How does he know how to use it? The whole situation of a panda having a knife is just really awkward.

Anyways, I'm really excited about this fall break because I get to rest, see friends and most importantly not go to the worst job on the planet. Well I guess It's not the worst job.........yes it is. It's gonna be a lot of fun. The thing is that I only get four days to break. There is so much I want to do back in my hometown that I'm probably not going to get to do because of the shortness of my break.

Well kiddies wish me luck on the road. You know no cops, good gas mileage, and all that stuff. I hope everyone has a great weekend and remember it's like my dear grandmother used to say, "Get away from me you little creep, you don't look like anybody in this family!"

Ahhhhh the papers, the papers!

I've only got one more to go and then.... fall break! I have had four different papers due this week right before fall break, but none of them have been as stressful as this one. I have to write a reasearch document analysis paper on Exodus 2:23-3:15. It has to be 5-7 pages and the bad part is that I have'nt even started on it yet. It's only a draft, but it counts 40 percent of the final paper grade so I can't just turn in the regular page of crap draft that a usual college student would be turning in before going off to a wonderful fall break. It sucks, but mostly because of my poor planning so I can't be too mad.

On another note I have just discovered that I have super powers unparalleled by any super heros in the history of comic books. What are my super powers? Well I can with a single thought instantly materialize any size pineapple upsidedown cake I want and I can cough up an entire size eleven addidas sneaker. These things might not sound very impressive, but I love pineapple upsidedown cake and I wear size eleven shoes so I never have to buy a new pair. Another thing, is a well placed pineapple upsidedown cake of the right size can stop even the vilest offender in their tracks covered in a sticky delicious mess. If only I could summon armies of fireants then I would be really fearsome.

Well I guess my mind is kicking me in the head because I just realized that I should probably go and start writing that huge paper I haven't even started on. I bid you all farewell and adios.

Things can be just great.

This might be an alarming change for those of you who have been keeping up with my blog, but I'm really really happy. I guess the funk and stress of school and midterms has just vanished due to a number of things, but mostly I just really am lucky to have the life I do and to be able to experience the love I do. I love my Vickery very much, but more than that I love Jesus Christ with a fierce passion. I won't be ashamed of my Lord and the love I have for him. I feel so great to know that he loves me and that no matter how bad it gets he'll never leave my side. I just want to take this time and publicly before everyone who reads this say that Jesus Christ is the best person I've ever known. I can't adequately describe with words how freeing loving Christ is. I am completely taken care of and completely safe in the arms of Christ.

During this summer I found out that my mom has stage 3 ovarian cancer and the doctors only gave her a 20 percent chance to live even with chemo. I immediately got everyone I could get my hands and voice on to start praying for my mom's healing from the cancer and for her salvation in Christ. I was working at a Christian summer camp and had the whole camp praying and all my friends homes and churches praying for my mom and the situation. I even had some of the speakers who came to Fort Caswell that summer praying for my mom and do you know what? I talked to her the other day and after 4 chemo treatments her protein count went from 1200 to 24. That's amazing! Anyways, when I found out she had cancer me and my brothers and Dad drove to Florida and that whole trip I could feel the prayers of everyone supporting my mom and my family. I could see the prayer working and God working through the prayers. My mom gave her life to Christ while I was there. It was great!

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I seriously love Jesus and just wanted to take some time to tell him and to let others see too. I love you Lord and I feel safe in your arms. I trust you and take pride in knowing you, I can't wait to meet with you face to face one day and be able to embrace you.

Anyone who is reading this that has faith please pray for my mom, while she is getting better we're still not out of the hot water yet. The treatments have caused her to lose her hair and a lot of weight. She feels like she doesn't look good anymore, but she is the most beautiful woman in the world and I just ask all of you to please pray for my mom and family. What if it was your mom?

Well it's getting late and it's not quite fall break yet so I still have to go to class tommrow so I'm gonna go hit the hay.

Give me a boomerang cause I'm ready to kill.

Well it's official, I'm definitely giving my two weeks notice at Outback tonight. I don't even have another job lined up yet. I have never worked in a restaurant that is anywhere near as frustrating as Outback. Some of you might be saying, "Well the restaurant business isn't for everyone, you have to have steel nerves and be able to stand the heat." This is what I have to say to those people. I was a restaurant manager of a restaurant that made over a million dollars a year for two years. I know all about restaurant stress! Restaurant stress does not mean that it is okay to get frustrated to the point where you cuss everyone out because your busy and that's okay. I've never done that. I don't want to hear the sorry excuse, "Well I was just frustrated and I didn't mean anything by it." Well I'll tell ya what, I'll fire you and not mean anything personal about that. If that's the way you handle your stress at work then you need to find a new job. Anyways, so I'm on the lookout for someplace that will be flexible with my schedule and make somewhere around 7 dollars an hour. It's not impossible.

I just finished watching the new Family Guy movie. It was okay. I think the show does a better job, granted it's made by the same people so you might be wondering how it couldn't be as good when made by the same guys. Well it's kinda like a twisted back to the future story. A much funnier one, but still the whole time travel thing is outdone. I still really recommend seeing it.

Do you know what sucks? Wanting to have sex, but at the same time wanting to wait until your married. If there are any other people out there doing the same thing you'll be able to sympathize with me, everyone else is probably wondering why I can't get laid. I think to describe the frustration adequately I'll use a metaphor. It's like trying to unzip a zipper that is stuck or eating a handful of sand spurs and drinking a cup of lemon juice. It just gets tiring knowing that all these people are getting their rocks off and I'm waiting. I know that when I'm married I'll be happy that I made that decision, but right now being a college student it is kind of hard. Don't get me wrong I'm not displaying any weakness here or trying to justify the decision to have sex. I'm just voicing my frustration with having a personal moral that conflicts with a lot of people's reason to be at college.

On another note, I'll be accepting any comments on what kind of job you think I should do next or if you have a job offer e-mail me at woodensalvation@yahoo.com. Well my pinky knub is killing me now because I bit the nail down to far and the typing is attacking my poor finger.

Makin a buck is crazy hard.

If your a college student and your'e reading this you'll probably be able to relate. I assume if your paying money for college then you have more plans for yourself than just going to school because someone said you should and then settling down. I'll tell you what though. It is hard to break out of the process of being someones employee. You can't make the real money being an employee. You have to be an employer. How do you become an employer? Well that's the million dollar question isn't it? How do you break away from the world of a lifelong employee and actually become financially free? I don't know, but I would really like to know. I have had pyrmid scheme after pyrmid scheme pitched to me. I have been to seminars on knife selling and internet business. I have heard a lot of bull jive as to how I can become free from debt and credit and my entire life worrying about money instead of the important things, but all the people telling me how I can achieve my goals of freedom are middle aged men who already have money and they started up their "business" on the side and now they are making money.

How can I as a 20 year old college student get out of the monotonous chain that seems to swallow me? Don't say it's impossible. If there is one thing I'm sure of is that nothing is impossible. There has to be something I can do to get rid of the dollar monkey on my back. Dang monkey always pinching the cash for himself!

I guess I could just be a dreamer, so I'll dream. I'll dream of ways to break out of mediocrity while I'm serving steaks and sweet tea and I'll dream of future freedom while I tack on another 5000 to my school loans. I'll keep dreaming and dreaming and if I never achieve my dreams don't wake me up. Let me keep dreaming at least then there can always be hope.

Another sleepless night in La La land.

Sleeping is becoming one of those things that I can barely remember. It seems like every time I want to go to beddy bye the sleep monster comes out and eats my sleep matter. You know the black dense matter that you put into the furnace in your back to fuel your body's sleep cycles. If you don't know what I'm talking about forget that I said anything and when the man in a black suit is at your door just smile and look into the light.

A friend of mine has decided to go two weeks without eating to better appreciate the whole experience when he can eat again. I say kudos my friend quadlos. I don't think I could go 8 hours without eating. I'm serious. If I don't eat I start to bite the people around me and I don't know where you live but at my school cannabalism is not cool.

My girlfriend's RA is a dang hall nazi and the worlds biggest hypocrite! I know that sounds harsh, but the truth hurts. We got wrote up today b/c I walked down the hall by myself. Technically I was breaking a rule and normally I wouldnt have gotten made except that she always has some guy coming up to her dorm unescorted. The other RA's say that she goes to parties on campus and breaks about every rule there is, but she'll write anyone up for the littlest thing. I don't kow if the drinking thing is true, but from my own experience she is not a very pleasant lady. I have decided that her wild life documentary name will be "crap breath"

Work is doing a little better, I asked for more time off during the week so I could concentrate on school more and I have 2 days off this week. I wrote a poem about work, here it goes......

I lied, sorry. There is no poem. If I was going to write a poem it wouldn't be about something as lame as Outback Steakhouse. Did you know that you can own an Outback relatively easy? All you have to have is 20k and sign a 5 year contract. Who do you go to for religious counseling when the pope asks you for advice? I'm not Catholic so it doesn't matter. This post is becoming worse and worse!

I do have good news. I am typing this post on my brand new apple do everything machine. It's handy. I have already used it for several things that would have been difficult otherwise. It's got this cool translater on it where all I have to do is write a paragraph and it translates it to any language I want. Even Swahili. Cool huh?

I'm still accepting posts so if you like my blog or don't leave a post and tell me how you feel about it. Adios.

Takin my frustration out on a tree

I realized as I decided to write this post that if I didn't give any background information then it would just seem like a really depressing post with no goodness at all. Here's what happened. I woke up this morning with barely no sleep from the night before and was nearly late to class. I also missed breakfast and that really bummed me out. I have 3 huge papers due all at the same time and Outback is working me to death! School is just really stressful and I was hating the whole world so during math class I wrote out a list that made me feel much better. Here it is.

I'm tired.....
of going to bed late and getting up early, eating crappy cafeteria food, worrying about the future, worrying about my mom, my dad, my grades, worrying in general, being afraid of wasting my education, paying so much for my education, not understanding math, feeling stupid, doing papers, tests and having my dumb work shirt ironed, tips, redneck retards at work, complaining but doing nothing, being lazy, having responsibility shoved all over me, having to reach others expectations, having immoral jerks be filthy rich, seeing good people get screwed over and over again, my car battery dying, missing my family, dry erase boards, having a dirty dorm room, having an antisocial roommate, cancer and every disease, prejudice, hate, and crime, depressing news stories, having so many ambitions and so little time to do them, wanting to change things that can't be changed, not paying attention in class, going to the library,listening to non-believers trash Christ and my religion, tired of automatically being a judgemental, arrogant, hypocritical jerk in some peoples eyes just because I don't deny being christian, spiritual warfare, I'm tired of complaining.

After writing that list out all of a sudden I felt much better and like all the stuff I have to do is really do-able now. Hopefully this list will help someone else get their frustration out. I have to go now and climb the mountain of work that needs to be done and start spelunking my way down.
thingsareinteresting.blogspot.com promises that no trees were hurt in the making of this post except the ones that have already been turned into paper.

Proud papa of a baby apple!

I did it. Finally I can now say that I am the proud owner of an ibook G4 apple laptop! Oh rapture, oh joy! Now I just have to go through the grueling torture that is waiting for it to come in the mail! Normally I wouldn't be soo happy about getting a piece of technology. If you asked me would I rather have a laptop or have a week of camping in the mountains with fishing and all the camping fun that ensues I would pick the camping, but the camping wasn't available and the laptop was. Plus it does all kinds of neat stuff! One of the coolest things it has on it is a movie studio. Me being an aspiring actor am very excited at the possibility of making cool movies. The possibilities oh the possibilities.

On another note, a very good writer friend of mine was interviewed on my last post and if you haven't read it yet then you should. His name is J.T. Willwright and he is hilarious! He is not as absent minded and looney as he sounds on the interview he was acting that way for entertainment purposes. Some have e-mailed me asking what he has written, but upon his request I can't divulge that information. He said something about advertising and just wanting to have a good time. Don't ask me what that means, I wasn't really listening and it's all above my head anyway. For those of you that liked the last post there will be more like it in the future.

Tonight should be interesting! Tonight is my friend Bonnies 20th birthday. Happy Birthday Bonnie!! We're going out to Outback and then we'll be going ice skating. None of us have ever been ice skating so it should prove to be pretty funny. I expect to be pulling off triple axles by the end of the session though! With all that said, People please leave me comments! Tell me what you like and what you don't like. What would you like to see on this blog? If you don't like my writing style that doesn't count. Give me some feed back readers. Allright then I think were all done here.
thingsareinteresting.blogspot.com does not support the killing of endangered species for the use of coasters!

Suzie Q don't have nothin on me!

Today on the blog we'll be interviewing J.T. Willwright. Author of books and things people read.

J.T.- Well, what do you want to know about J.T. Willwright?
Me- Let's start with this new book your writing. You were talking about it earlier.
J.T.- What book?
Me- Earlier in the cafeteria, you said you wanted to talk during the interview about your new book.
J.T.- Oh, right, right.
(Silence)
Me- Well?
J.T.- What?
Me- Your book!
J.T.- Oh yes, Jacob you can't rush an artist! That is what I am afterall. My mind is full of deep thoughts and my emotions are a tool used by Gods.
Me- What are you talki...
J.T.- Anyways Brian, my book is about..
Me- Jacob.
J.T.-What?
Me- You called me Brian.
J.T.- I did no such thing! Thomas, implying that I can't remember your name is insulting to my intelligence.
Me- Let's just talk about your new book.
J.T.- Okay my new book is a historical thriller with Demons, Angels and a tragic death in the end.
Me- Sounds interesting, kinda like a Frank Peretti book, huh?
J.T.- Do you have something personal against me Lou? Do you?
Me- What do you mean?
J.T.- Nothing. Your a nice kid Dean but you lack focus! Can we get back to the book?
Me- Uh.. sure. What's the title?
J.T.- Normally I wouldn't debut my new book title on such a low key media but I like you Stan and I'm gonna do you a favor. The title of my new book is "Bible"
Me- That's funny. Whats the real name.
J.T.- I'm completely serious, the whole book revolves around the main character who I chose to call Jesus. I don't know where I got the idea, really it's brilliant. Your welcome.
Me- You can't write the Bible, it's already been done.
J.T.- Don't be ridiculous, don't you think I would know if my book was already written.
Me- What publisher are you using?
J.T.- I'm not. I'm writing each copy by hand and signing them personally. They sell for about 20'000.
Me- You gotta be outta your mind.
J.T.- That's what the publisher said, they were just jealous they didn't think of the idea themselves. I guess your jealous too David.
Me- JACOB!
J.T.- Your name is very nice! Mine is J.T. WILLWRIGHT! This is fun.
Me- This is all the time we have today.
J.T.- Can I say one more thing?
Me- Yeah go ahead.
J.T.- You can kill a dolphin and make a cerremonial headress, but then you'll got to jail.
Thingsareinteresting.blogspot.com does not support the slamming of children when they are infants.